May 5, 2003

And lo, the prophet was sitting before his computer on a rainy afternoon when the Goddess did speak to him. For he had been a man of prayer all his life, and he found himself that day with many desires and much thanksgiving. Yet when he turned to offer his praise and petitions to God, he saw upon his bed a beautiful woman with long flowing black hair and a tight green dress. And She said to him, "What are these prayers to me? What I have done for you, and what I will do for you, are matters of my divine whim, and rest neither on your asking nor your thanking. Don't you ever just call to talk?" And with that, the prophet was of a new faith, for he had seen God and God made no sense.

Thus it came to pass that Jonathan Prykop was ordained, not by the laying of hands nor by the presentation of certificates, but rather by the snarky blessing of the Goddess. He became Reverend Jack, minister without denomination, evangelical agnostic, preacher of all religions and none, thorn in the side of the establishment and patrianarch of Midwest Discordian Ministry.

We could speak of his credentials, the pieces of paper affixed to his wall that attest to his knowledge and experience. In his youth, he attended the Illinois Math and Science Academy, where he thwarted the teachers' evil plot to brainwash the world into being logical and reasonable. From there, he went on to attend DePaul University, where he stole the secret of fire from the Roman Catholics and gave it to humanity. As an adult minister, he has registered with the Universal Life Church, enabling him to perform marriage ceremonies with his legal bases covered. He spent several years preaching in mission to the heathen Unitatrian Universalists, where he was granted much Authority and then condemned for refusing to wield it. Currently, he resides in Urbana, IL, where he is mastering his skills as a professional web application developer in preparation for the programming of the electronic messiah.

And yet, when we think upon his ordination, he would have us think upon our own ordinations, for we are all granted authority over our own religious lives. As God has commanded, "You must all think for yourselves."

Fan Mail

I am a pastor leading a church and am passionate about God and His word. I do not believe that anyone can have a genuine love, and understanding of God without having a passionate love for His word. What angers me is someone who presents himself as a minister of the gospel and then leads people into error by condoning behavior which is specifically forbidden in scripture. Especially when what you are condoning is published on the internet and is accessible to untold numbers of people who can be led astray. Sadly, many people are still impressed by the title 'reverend' and will be influenced by what you have written. --Rob Beckwith

the irony of a ULC and discordian hawking for intelligent design is just too funny for me. either you a)got the religion,but not the joke, or b)are just another agent provocateur,hiding your true beliefs under a cloak of liberal trappings. having read your blog, i'm still unsure,but i must say your current posting indicates b.

In my 11-year association with the church, this was the low point...I found the service to be disrespectful and insulting.  If this was the first time someone had come to our church, I would expect them never to come back, and to say "there is something wrong with that church." Maybe there was a point to the service, but it was lost on me.

After three years of div school, one full year internship and one part-time field ed, CPE, and the MFC, I have a hard time calling someone "Reverend" who is "ordained" in the *Universal Life Church.* What a crock. He may be amazing and wonderful but calling himself "Rev" because he filled out an online form is completely disingenuous.

Wherever Reverend Jack wanders in his ministry, he leaves a wake of cognitive dissonance behind him, frustrating some and delighting others. Is he liberal or conservative? Christian or atheist? Is this guy really serious? Is he really joking? Does he actually exist at all? As Jack drifts off into the sunset, the only answer he'll give to these questions is, "The tingle means it's working!"

Reverend Jack is available for weddings, sermons, ordinations, baptisms, orgies and many other religious rituals. For more information, please contact revjack@prykop.com.